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I’m learning you. Your lips, your curves, those bottomless eyes. Those damn eyes screwed me forever. Just when I think I’ve reached the bottom, I keep sinking deeper. Deeper and deeper, oh how wrong I was to think there would be no more. I’ve sunk into the abyss and I have no plans on resurfacing.
Fuckkkkkkkk
New shit on the horizon. New state. New job. New people. Turning 21. Pushing west and west until I can’t push any farther. See where I end up eh? Better than whatever this shitty ass state ever produced for me. Die trying, dying’s not a fear I have. Deferential pressure though? That’s a scary way to die I guess.
What your favourite The National album says about you:
- The National: You spend a lot of time defending country music to your hipster indie-snob friends
- Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers: You either are an alcoholic dad or will become an alcoholic dad in the future.
- Alligator: You’ve never had a girl stay in your house past 7 in the morning. You’re trying to convince your mom and dad that a third college degree is actually necessary to your future. No, you’re not just asking them to dish out 10 000 dollars because you’re afraid of the real world.
- Boxer: Sure, you were once a broke college student, but things are different now. You’re an adult. You’re shooting up the ladder. You don’t really get all the water metaphors, but you end up quoting them in conversation anyway, just like the rest of the album.
- High Violet: Your friends and and family are worried about you.
- Trouble Will Find Me: After many an existential crisis, and many sleepless nights, you have come to peace with the fact that you will die someday. This is fine. You’re fine.
ME: I’m leaving.
ME:…
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: Ok. I’m leaving…
ME: *reblog*
ME: *reblog*
ME: Bye.
ME: *reblog*
- someone: draws me something
- someone: it's not much but
- me: no i love it no shh
- me: i love it
- me: i love you
- me: prints it out
- me: frames it in a gilt frame
- me: hangs it on the wall
- me: builds a shrine around it
- me: puts fresh flowers there every day
- me: *not religious*
- me: oh my god
- me: praise the lord
- me: thank god
- me: oh dear lord
- me: jesus christ
- me: good god
- me: bless
I hope we last. I hope we do.
But if we don’t, this is how I want you to remember me:
I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable - only for you though, only for you.
Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember the way I was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove the both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs you couldn’t stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too.
If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending.
Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.


